(Yep. Still unemployed. And lovin' it. Panic has not yet set in. Things are still sweet, but -- alas -- this is only Day #2.)
So I write recaps of NBC's "The Apprentice" each week for a website called The Trades.
It used to be something I just did for fun (the site is run by a cool group of people, AND I'm seriously obsessed with Donald Trump -- and utterly consumed by my girl-crush on his lucious daughter Ivanka -- so I figured that I might as well write down what I think and have other people read it instead of just yelling at the TV). But now that I'm unemployed, I guess that this once-a-week blurbing could be considered 'my job.'
[Except for the fact that I'm not getting paid to produce my tirades. Ah well.]
But I digress.
The reason I'm bringing this all up (besides telling you to read my freaking column, which is updated weekly in the sidebar here) is because I am unhealthily intrigued by a now-fired candidate by the name of Brent Buckman.
Brent was a dispicable character on the show. He personified all of the stereotypical negative qualities of fat people: sloth, laziness, an insatiable appetite for bagels. And he had no good ideas to contribute, which is why he was given the boot on episode #4.
Since his departure from the show, he seems to have dropped an astonishing amount of weight. Apparently, he's invented his own diet -- The 4-Bagel Plan.
I'm a carbohydrate craver myself who loves nothing more than an H&H bagel and a nice, tall glass of OJ. The low-carb crazy almost drove me crazy (especially when I realized how much weight one could lose by stuffing one's self full of only artery-clogging fat. Mmmmm. It was hard to turn away from that one.) So this bagel diet seemed like the cat's pajamas.
Here's a sample from the menu:
*Bagel with margarine for breakfast.
*Bagel with margarine for lunch.
*Bagel with margarine for a snack.
*Bagel with 8 oz of meat for dinner.
The bonus is the added direction: "Once a week have one
meal or dessert which has lots of calories: For example, chicken
fingers and cheese fries, pizza, ice cream sundae, cake, etc."
Hmmm. I could do that. Worked for Brent.
Seriously. You should go check it out. It seems super-scientific and not unhealthy at all. And Brent is a reformed fat guy who was in a reality television show! He totally knows what he's talking about!
As I conclude this post, I would like to point out that a.) I am still unemployed. and b.) it is still good.
Time to go to Barnes&Noble, get my sticky fingers all over their magazines, then return them to the rack. Yippeee!!!!!!!!!!