I woke up at 10:30 this morning and laid in bed for a bit thinking about what I'm going to do about the jobless state in which I currently find myself.
Sad to say, during the period in which stared at my ceiling (noting, for the first time, a nasty watermark that I seem to have missed in the 6 months I've been in my current apartment), there was nary an earth-shattering catharsis.
The only thing I had realized after 30 minutes of thinking was that was it was 11am and The View was on, so it was time to get up.
Boy was I in for a shock when I took my first glimpse out of the window.
Snow!??! In April??! I mean -- I was wearing flip-flops just a few days ago. [We have seriously messed up our environment. People -- if you don't recycle, start doing it now. Every little bit counts. This weather is NOT NORMAL.]
The upside was that the blizzard outside (which -- to be honest -- lasted for all of 20 minutes TOPS) was reason enough for me to stay in. So I read a little, cleaned a little, and made myself a nice scrambled egg, but was bored by 1pm.
Hmmmm. I wondered if the mail arrived yet.
So I tramped downstairs, still in my pjs, and checked my box. Oooh! Disc #3 from the first season of Arrested Development had come from Netflix! Finally something to do for the rest of the afternoon.
But it got me thinking about Netflix and how their online DVD-ordering system has really screwed up my life.
I joined Netflix a year ago with the loftiest of goals.
As I waited for my first DVD, I sat down and made a list of the American Film Institute’s Top 100 Films of All Time. I researched all of the Oscar-winning Best Pictures and put them on my queue. I vowed to keep up with all of the art-y documentaries that dart in and out of theaters before you can say "Declan Desmond." Poised to blossom into a cinematic connoisseur, I waited with bated breath for my first delivery.
Yet somehow – despite even the best of intentions – these well-laid plans for my Netflix experience have been derailed. Instead of viewing art house movies to broaden my horizons and to deepen the pool from which I can draw allusions, I have indulged in the very worst that Hollywood has to offer. Whereas the original objective had been to transform my very own living room into a cultural Mecca of sorts, I find myself watching total and complete trash.
In the interest of full disclosure, let me briefly confess a few of my sins.
In the past year:
1.) I have seen more movies starring teen queen Lindsay Loan than I care to acknowledge.
2.) I’ve spent evenings home alone watching such selections as Madonna’s doomed-from-the-start “Swept Away” and “Gigli,” the work of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez in their pre-Bennifer days.
3.) I watched the Olsen twin’s ill-fated big-screen debut, “New York Minute.”
3b.) And I liked it.
Yes – I confess. I liked “New York Minute.” I liked all of those movies. My enjoyment during each viewing was tinged with guilt, but somehow that made it all the sweeter. I could feel my brain cells slowly dying as Miss Lohan strutted across the screen in a string of roles virtually indistinguishable save for the changing size of her breasts, but I just could not bring myself to turn off the DVD player.
I watch these movies purely because I CAN. I’m not plunking down $10.50 (for that is indeed the exorbitant cost of taking in a movie in a Manhattan theater nowadays; adding a popcorn and soda can easily double the price, and a movie's just not a movie without some buttery popcorn and a diet coke). I’ve already paid the flat fee for the month, so it’s essentially like I’m watching the movie for free, right?
So I think I'm going to cancel my subscription. It didn't turn out to be what I had intended, and since (as we are all aware) I have no job, a few little indulgences have got to go while I figure out exactly what it is I'm going to do next.
It's been reel.
As for the lottery update:
Day 21 (I skipped entering it yesterday, but I didn't win anyway. Big surprise).
Bought one lottery ticket.
The good news is that apparently I was Gawker'd and it drove a whole bunch of people over here today. And having some people commiserate about the sucky, extermination-expecting (ex-)job was better than winning a couple bucks on a scratch-off. Thanks, guys!!!